Fifty Days
From: Joel Wagner
Sent: Friday, March 15, 2002 12:17 AM
To: Joel Wagner
Subject: Fifty Days
Today, I sit at home and I consider where the last fifty days have taken me. I can assure you that I have far more peace now then the morning of Thursday, January 24th. This is not to say that I was scared by any means, or fearful or apprehensive or anything, but I did have looming over my head a gigantic question mark indeed. For on that morning, I went into surgery for the very first time in my life.
Since then, my life has been anything but boring! Some would say that I have been pushing myself too much, and I might even tend to agree with those sentiments at times. On the other hand, I am not, nor ever have been, one to sit around while I could be active in some way or another. Having said that, and realizing that this is the first time some of you have heard anything from me since I was released from the hospital four days later, I will go ahead and highlight some of what has transpired in the interim.
On February 1st, merely four days after leaving the hospital, I taught a horn lesson. I didn’t play and it wouldn’t be another week and a half from then before I even tried playing an instrument again. The next week, on Thursday and Friday, I taught a total of eleven lessons in preparation for solo & ensemble contests. On Saturday the 9th of February, I was able to sit around and take money and pass out judging sheets to kids at the Burleson Solo Contest.
During those first two weeks out of the hospital, the progress seemed so slow, and yet it was crawling along at a remarkable pace. Up to this point, I had not gone back to school other than when I went to teach lessons after school. When I went back the first time, the kids had put up banners that they all had signed. My office was also decorated with streamers and balloons and such. The banners came home with me about two weeks later, and I finally took down the other decorations this week during spring break.
On Sunday, February 10th, I began playing again in the praise band at church. Instead of playing horn as I had in the past, I have begun playing flugelhorn in there and it actually gets a much better blend with the other instruments we have, so I will continue to play that even after I am “fully recovered,” whatever that means!
On Monday the 11th, I finally went back to school for the second half of the school day. I continued a similar schedule the rest of the week and I began driving again on February 13th. Up to this point, my parents had been gracious enough to cart me all over the place. That Saturday, I went to Cleburne another solo & ensemble contest. About halfway through the day, I drove back to Burleson to open up the band hall for the kids who came home at noon and also for the kids who left at 12:30. Long days and I still didn’t get along too well, so I went home after that. All week long, I either taught lessons after school, went to class at UTA, or had church.
Monday, February 18th was the first full day I was back in action at school. I didn’t teach any lessons the entire week because of the Texas Music Educators Association Convention in San Antonio. My parents used it as an excuse to take a vacation in San Antonio, and also saved me from driving 5+ hours. On Tuesday, we had TAAS benchmark testing in the morning, and so I didn’t get to school until 11. Then Wednesday was spent getting ready for us to leave for the convention. The kids watched and answered questions for a test on “The Music Man” while we were gone.
When we got back to school, I was going all day again for real. I began teaching more and doing sectionals and even playing my horn some with the beginner band classes. I also went back to see the doctor on Thursday the 28th, and he said that things were going well, and that I just need to continue doing what I’m doing and allowing my body to recover. We had a Spaghetti Supper scheduled on March 2nd, but that ended up being changed because of icy roads.
This brings us to last week. On Monday, we switched the beginner horn players from cornet to horn for the first time. This is now my fourth time to switch them and, as much as I hated the idea at the very first I am not quite as violently opposed to it any longer. Especially seeing Kerr get the top three kids in the middle school all region band! As far as I can tell, I am going to be teaching the beginner horns for the rest of the year. I am continuing to teach more and more lessons, and I hope to be able to teach seventeen next week, if everything works out! This week is spring break and I went to the school a couple of times to do some cleaning, but have basically been relaxing some as the next three weeks leading up to the UIL concert and sightreading contest will be pretty intense.
If you made it this far, thanks for bearing with me, and I hope I didn’t bore you too much. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to so many people who have helped me so much over the last seven weeks. I am beside myself with the overwhelming expressions of compassion, concern, understanding, appreciation, and most importantly love. I have seen and heard from so many people to whom I never sent updates for one reason or another, but you have passed the information along to others. Thank you so much, and I hope you will pass this last mass communication from me as well.
The really amazing thing is to watch and see how God works through our pains and shows His glory in ways heretofore unimagined. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” It doesn’t say all things are good, for Jesus Himself said, “‘In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.’” But it is through these tribulations and sufferings that God’s strength is demonstrated. Even as the Lord told Paul, His “’strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
I thank God for the incredible grace that He has shown me through this whole ordeal! I never before understood grace, and I’m not saying that I even do comprehend it now. I don’t understand why God would love me and choose me to spend eternity with Him! It blows my mind. And yet, it is a free gift of eternal forgiveness that He offers us all!
“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth — to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (Ephesians 3:14-21).
Once again, thank you so much for your faithfulness to and your interest in me. Without a doubt, you will never know what a wonderful blessing you are.
Joel Wagner
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