On The Brink of Depression, But He Brought Me Up Out of the Pit

I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.

He put a new song in my mouth –
Praise yo our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40:1-3

As I look back on my life, I can remember certain events (a car wreck, a tumor, a kidney stone) that were extremely challenging for me, but no period of time can compare with what I have gone through in the last year (and even the last 18 months, really). But beginning in March, things began to slowly get better for me.

The darkness began to disipate and things began looking up.

Some things that really helped this happen included:

• Reawakening some friendships that I had allowed to become dormant, through Twitter/Facebook as well as in real life
• A determination to seek God through fasting and prayer
• Spending more time reading and listening to the Word of God and sermons/podcasts/blogs about Christian topics

Now these may seem pretty basic to all of us (myself included), but it gets so easy to drift away. We get this sense that the little things may not matter so much, or what we aren’t really all that useful or necessary in the kingdom of God.

The thing is, no amount of excuses or justifications or whatever suffice. On the flip side, no amount of determinations to do the right thing suffice either.

But it’s not about doing any one thing or another. It’s about passionately pursuing our Lord. The thing that I have been lacking for the last few years has really been a clearly defined goal.

You are my portion, O LORD;
I have said that I would keep Your words.

I entreated Your favor with my whole heart;
Be merciful to me according to Your word.

I thought about my ways,
And turned my feet to Your testimonies.

I made haste, and did not delay
To keep Your commandments.

The cords of the wicked have bound me,
But I have no forgotten Your law.

At midnight I will rise to give thanks to You,
Because of Your righteous judgments.

I am a companion of all who fear You,
And of those who keep Your precepts.

The earth, O LORD, is full of Your mercy;
Teach me Your statutes.

Psalm 119:57-64

Look at verse 60 again. “I made haste, and did not delay To keep Your commandments.” Though I have been keeping God’s commandments lately, I can’t say that I have made haste in doing so. Just because we don’t seem to be living a victorious life doesn’t mean that we are out of the will of God. Through this whole year, that one truth has stuck with me, despite other people telling me otherwise.

“Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
As in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
And to heed than the fat of rams.

For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry,
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
He also has rejected you from being king.”

1 Samuel 15:22,23

Obedience ushers in the blessings of God
My pastor likes to say that “Obedience ushers in the blessings of God.” I often hear that, but it gets so familiar that I overlook it at times. Something else to draw from the above verses: delayed obedience is the same as blatent disobedience.

Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seatr of the scornful;

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.

Day and night…

He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither,
And whatever he does shall prosper.

Psalm 1:1-3

Whatever he does shall prosper. Who has this guaranteed prosperity? The person who delight to meditate on the law of the LORD day and night.

Brothers and sisters, that is the real prosperity gospel! None of this name-it-claim-it, blab-it-grab-it, bossing God around like a genie in a Bible business. That stuff isn’t scriptural.

It’s exactly the same as what God told Joshua when Israel finally entered the land:

“Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:7-9

All this to say that I read a couple of blog posts today that really jumped out at me.

• How Can Pain Be Good? (The Blazing Center)
• You Are What Your Tweet (The Blazing Center)

Fasting, Prayer, and Affliction of the Soul

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your houyse the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?”

Isaiah 58:6-7

This spring, I began to feel really impressed to spend more time fasting and learning about fasting. I’ve done it for up to a week a few times with some really good results. I’ve also fasted for a handful of days in the past with minimal results. So this year, I have been praying and learning quite a bit about denial of the flesh.

My pastor often says, “We all have ungodly altars in our lives.” I think some of those ungodly altars that we have allowed to be set up can most effectively be overturned by prayer and fasting. I think about when the Philistines stole the Ark of the LORD and put it in the temple of Dagon from 1 Samuel 5).

Can you imagine the power of God overturning some of the strongholds that are in your life in such a way that they submit fully to God? I know from experience that such things can happen, and that powerful deliverance can come about as a result of fasting and prayer.

So why don’t I do it more?
The Bible rightly refers to fasting as “affliction of the soul.” It’s never easy to sacrifice. Anything. Especially food! For me, most of my sturuggles come about when I fast but don’t focus on the and prayer aspect of it. Without Christ filling the emptiness that my stomach feels, the flesh isn’t getting weaker, only more irritated!

Actually, I think any pursuit of holiness should be more about adding holy practices into our lives rather than removing unholy things. As light comes in, darkness will flee. If we simply remove the darkness, more (and possibly worse) darkness will enter in its place (cf. Matthew 12:43-45).

So what are the results of fasting and prayer done from a pure motive?

Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousnessshall go before you,
The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer,
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’

“If you take away the yoke from your midst,
The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
If you extend your soul to the hungry
And satisfy the afflicted soul,
Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
And your darkness shall be as the noonday.” 

Isaiah 58:8-10

Amazing stuff, isn’t it?

But wait a minute…
So there can be these tremendous results and breakthroughs that we experience in our lives as a direct byproduct of fasting. But is that the purpose of fasting? Do we fast to twist God’s arm and sort of force His hand? I don’t know that this is what God has called us to do.

When we  fast, when we afflict our soul, I see it as more about drawing close to God than trying to get something or acheive a breakthrough. Now I know there are a number of different fasts outlined in the Bible, and about 10 different reasons behind them. With all of them, however, the end result is to draw closer to God.

Maybe I’m the only one who does this, but I sometimes find myself fasting just to fast and going through the motions just to go through the motions. It is at this point that the real challenge comes in. Either I give in and let my flesh win, or I press in and let my spirit win. If I do nothing, just continue fasting and being complacent, I don’t believe that I gain any benefit from the fasting.

So I’d love to discuss your experiences with fasting…care to share?