On The Brink of Depression, But He Brought Me Up Out of the Pit

I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.

He put a new song in my mouth –
Praise yo our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40:1-3

As I look back on my life, I can remember certain events (a car wreck, a tumor, a kidney stone) that were extremely challenging for me, but no period of time can compare with what I have gone through in the last year (and even the last 18 months, really). But beginning in March, things began to slowly get better for me.

The darkness began to disipate and things began looking up.

Some things that really helped this happen included:

• Reawakening some friendships that I had allowed to become dormant, through Twitter/Facebook as well as in real life
• A determination to seek God through fasting and prayer
• Spending more time reading and listening to the Word of God and sermons/podcasts/blogs about Christian topics

Now these may seem pretty basic to all of us (myself included), but it gets so easy to drift away. We get this sense that the little things may not matter so much, or what we aren’t really all that useful or necessary in the kingdom of God.

The thing is, no amount of excuses or justifications or whatever suffice. On the flip side, no amount of determinations to do the right thing suffice either.

But it’s not about doing any one thing or another. It’s about passionately pursuing our Lord. The thing that I have been lacking for the last few years has really been a clearly defined goal.

You are my portion, O LORD;
I have said that I would keep Your words.

I entreated Your favor with my whole heart;
Be merciful to me according to Your word.

I thought about my ways,
And turned my feet to Your testimonies.

I made haste, and did not delay
To keep Your commandments.

The cords of the wicked have bound me,
But I have no forgotten Your law.

At midnight I will rise to give thanks to You,
Because of Your righteous judgments.

I am a companion of all who fear You,
And of those who keep Your precepts.

The earth, O LORD, is full of Your mercy;
Teach me Your statutes.

Psalm 119:57-64

Look at verse 60 again. “I made haste, and did not delay To keep Your commandments.” Though I have been keeping God’s commandments lately, I can’t say that I have made haste in doing so. Just because we don’t seem to be living a victorious life doesn’t mean that we are out of the will of God. Through this whole year, that one truth has stuck with me, despite other people telling me otherwise.

“Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
As in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
And to heed than the fat of rams.

For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry,
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
He also has rejected you from being king.”

1 Samuel 15:22,23

Obedience ushers in the blessings of God
My pastor likes to say that “Obedience ushers in the blessings of God.” I often hear that, but it gets so familiar that I overlook it at times. Something else to draw from the above verses: delayed obedience is the same as blatent disobedience.

Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seatr of the scornful;

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.

Day and night…

He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither,
And whatever he does shall prosper.

Psalm 1:1-3

Whatever he does shall prosper. Who has this guaranteed prosperity? The person who delight to meditate on the law of the LORD day and night.

Brothers and sisters, that is the real prosperity gospel! None of this name-it-claim-it, blab-it-grab-it, bossing God around like a genie in a Bible business. That stuff isn’t scriptural.

It’s exactly the same as what God told Joshua when Israel finally entered the land:

“Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:7-9

All this to say that I read a couple of blog posts today that really jumped out at me.

• How Can Pain Be Good? (The Blazing Center)
• You Are What Your Tweet (The Blazing Center)

Debt Is Dumb

I foresee 2009 being one of the best years of my life.

As I stand here looking at this year, the thing that strikes me about what is about to happen is one solitary word.

Discipline
Discipline is a good thing. In fact, it is a wonderful thing. I am not talking about punishment, but discipline.  You know, discipline:

Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So what specific character or pattern of behavior do I want to train? It’s actually going to be a lot. I’ll focus on fleshing out some of the plans over the next couple of weeks.

To begin with, I am going to focus on debt.

Theologically, debt says that I want now what God has not seen fit to give me yet. It God’s sovereignity and places my own wisdom above His wisdom. It says that I know better what I need than God does. Ultimately, debt gratifies my flesh and denies the Spirit.

Maybe you disagree. That’s fine if you do.

The rich rules over the poor,
And the borrower is servant to the lender. — Proverbs 22:7

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. — Romans 13:8

Rather go to bed supperless than rise in debt. — Benjamin Franklin

What I plan on doing this year is to live as frugally as possible, and put as much money as possible into debt elimination. I am going to be following Dave Ramsey’s plan.

1. $1,000 to start an Emergency Fund
2. Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
3. 3 to 6 months of expenses in savings
4. Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
5. College funding for children
6. Pay off home early
7. Build wealth and give!
   Invest in mutual funds and real estate

I’ve been fully aware of him for around three years. I used his strategies to eliminate around $10,000 during the first two years. Then 2008 came.

I bought a used truck in February, but the payments on that have substantially slowed me down. I have had dental work done (root canal, and two crowns), my dog was hit by a car which cost me around $500, and some other minor “emergencies” have come and gone. Plus I have spent about just as much money as I make. So it’s time to get this all under control.

This is the first part of my discipline adventure!

Disappearing

*poof*
I will be disappearing from most of the online world until October 6th at the earliest. You will not be able to reach me on MySpace, Facebook, or through instant messaging. If you need to contact Wagner, use email.

Losing Focus
The problem is that I have lost focus on those things that are most important to me. I rarely read, I rarely pray, I rarely am finding myself able to focus long enough to complete what I start. My house is a mess, both physically and spiritually. I am taking drastic steps to changing that.

What’s been going on lately?
My life is going very well. School is great. I love my classes. This is my best teaching year so far. My students behave well 95% of the time. The 5% of misbehavior is from somewhere around 10% of the students or less. I am not going to complain.

My debt continues to decline. I haven’t updated on my blog lately, but things are going really well in that department also.

The sad thing is that my spiritual life has begun to slip drastically. I must take charge and once again allow God to take precedence in my life. I intend on daily Bible reading, going to sleep earlier (most nights) so I can wake up at 5:30am to pray, and just really refocusing my attitudes on honoring God.

A call to action
I expect great things as I under this 30 day “focus fast”. Wanna join me?