I’ve had it!
I’m fed up with my dumb self.
My desire to know everything, to keep with everything, to have everything, to experience everything. It’s time to call it quits. It’s time to count the cost and pursue holiness anyway.
A year and a half of unfulfilled promises
Looking back at my blog post from December 25th, I see that most of my planning and aim to reduce my debt has gone by the wayside. I still weigh as much as I did at the beginning of the year. I don’t spend any more time regularly in prayer or Bible study now than I did back then. I’m not married or even heading in that direction.
Basically, 2009 has been pretty bleak for me in a lot of ways. In fact, it doesn’t only start there. Even in June 2008, I was seeing that things were out of control. I think it goes back even further than that.
Granted, things did change for the positive over the summer as I began to see a glimmer of hope. I began playing piano at a new church where my good friend Greg is the pastor, and that is turning out to be an exciting process. We are starting to see some growth in the church, both in numbers as well as in life within the fellowship.
Sadly, when I survey the state of the American church, comfort and excess have replaced giving and sacrifice as Christian virtues in the 21st century. The mantra of contemporary Christian circles seems to be “Man’s chief end is to get lots of stuff, end enjoy it for ever. And be sure there’s good air conditioning and comfortable seats in church while you’re at it!” The Puritans taught us that “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him for ever.” Quite a discrepancy.
Well, I’m tired of the stuff. I’m tired of distractions. I’m tired of clutter in my life – physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. I grow weary of the undisciplined nature of my current state of existence. It’s time for a change.
This morning, Pastor Greg read a little bit out of E.M. Bounds book The Weapon of Prayer. I’ve read his book Power Through Prayer a few times and every time I read it, I am convicted of my woeful lack of prayer. This week, I will work my way through The Weapon of Prayer. I’ll also focus more of my time on prayer. Real prayer, not the superficial stuff.
My online life takes up too much of my time. My iPhone provides more distractions than I even know what to do with. So it is time to move forward. Instead of feeling like a victim of my circumstances, I’m going to take control. In the next three and a half months, I will regain control and discipline in my life.
Fasting will be a huge part
In the process of regaining control, I must regularly deny the flesh through fasting. For the most part, these will be day-long water/juice fasts, though there may very well be extended fasting happening as well. This past spring, I experienced the power that fasting had in recovering my focus as I went through three 5+ day fasts. Since then, the longest I’ve gone without food has been 12-15 hours.
This is an urgent need
As easy as it would be for me to sit back (like I have for months and years even) and say that I’ll get around to it later, there is no time like the present to begin to see transformative changes in my life. No more of the “just one more time” mentality. That simply delays the inevitible. To quote Professor Harold Hill from The Music Man, “‘Pile up too many tomorrows and you’ll find that you’ve collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays.” Do something now!
What you can do
- Pray for your pastor. He needs it!
- I encourage you to commit to make some changes in your life. That one nasty habit you’ve been meaning to overcome. The 10 pounds you’ve gained since college. Or the 50 pounds. Or the 100. You get the picture. Read more. Watch less.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
For God will bring every work into judgment,
Inlcuding every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
- Encourage me. Self sacrifice is never easy. 100 days of it will be greuling for me. If you happen to see me online, encourage me and ask me how things are going. Pray for me. Tell me you are praying for me and I’ll be sure to pray for you as well.
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